Homeless and personal responsibility

Homelessness in Merced - a big issue that we, as community members, are now responsible for.

But is it really my responsibility?

Where do I fit in the whole picture? I certainly want to help people who want to get out of their desperate places, but I am unwilling to 'fix' the problem for people who really don't want to change.

We all are created in God's image, we all have made poor choices in life, and we all live under grace. We are one community, needing to work together to assist each other to live healthy, productive lives. We need to provide resources and opportunities that assist everyone to take the steps necessary to discover their God given gifts, talents and abilities.

But keeping all that in mind, I wonder how much we need to do for people who don't want to change. When does personal response-ability come in place?

The bigger issues are: Where do registered sex-offenders live? Where do people find work when the unemployment is hitting 20%? What happens to people with mental disabilities and PTSD?

I don't have answers for all those questions, but neither do I see that many of the people who have those issues to deal with really want to take the steps necessary to improve their lives.

It seems so easy to make the city, county/state/community members responsible for solving the issue of homelessness.

We have a brand new homeless shelter where people can stay up to 5 months that almost always has openings and there are several excuses that keep people from taking advantage of it. One: they don't take animals. Are they the only people who have to make sacrifices? What about the many families who have to move from a house to an apartment being unable to keep their animals? Two: it is a limited stay (5 months). But, they have computers, training, health care, a weekly one-stop center, a clean bed, meals and laundry and shower facilities. Three: they have too much drama. Welcome to the human race! Where does the personal responsibility come in here?

At the Rescue Mission men and women can get a 12-18 month Christian program that provides growth not only in interpersonal issues but also life skills and job skills, it provides a structured environment with meals and training.

Both programs have rules and regulations, both programs are supported by many community members to make it possible, both programs have been successful (when people have taken responsibility)....what more do the homeless need?

Having been homeless myself, I have a special passion for the people on the street, but I have also talked with enough homeless people to know that there are choices being made... the choice to stay on the street because it provides freedom, freedom to do whatever they please (drugs, sex, friendships, no responsibilities etc).

So I guess my question is: if the homeless choose to live a certain lifestyle, why am I being made responsible for them? If they do not want to make some tough choices (e.g. give up the dog for 1 year) why should I be responsible for it.

In my personal life I have to make choices every day. How I spend my money, my time, my resources. I would like to do certain things at certain times.... but as I count the cost and evaluate the benefits vs the risks.... I choose not to.

So, bring it on! Let's help the homeless who want to change and I will gladly do whatever is in my power to assist them, but please don't make me responsible for people who are only making excuses and are really only looking for a hand-out instead of a hand-up. I am not willing to spend my energies and resources on people who don't want to do their part.

We humans are created in God's image with the abilities to choose, to reason, to be responsible, if we take those response-abilities away from people we are taking away their humanity as well.

Contentment

How much does it take in life to be content?

We just returned from 3 weeks in Kenya and I realize how much life in America is based on what we have and what we can get.

While in Kenya we saw kids playing with sticks and stones and enjoying life, we saw adults eating the same basic staple foods day after day without complaining, we saw parents with their little children waiting all day to be seen by a doctor.....

...the beauty of the people, the contentment, the patience, the love for God... all points to something we have lost in America.

We are often so busy with our pursuit of happiness that we miss the real life. When was the last time I was really content?

Does my prayer sound more like this?

"My father in heaven, may My kingdom come on earth, may My will be done, give Me this day what I want.... "

As I process through the visit to Kenya I realize that all the things that I thought I need, are really not that important after all.... the

variety of foods, the comfortable bed, the daily showers, the stores to buy what I want.... all those things I can do without...

...but what I do need are healthy relationships, friends that believe that there is purpose in life and that encourage me to do what God called me to, community that overlooks my many imperfections and loves me for who I am but encourages me to become more like Christ.

I need people with whom I can share life, every part of it, who invest in me as I invest in them, who share with me as I share with them. I need community who is willing to cry, laugh, dance, hurt, and feel with me, people from whom I can learn, people who are willing to share their lives with me.

Kenya gave me a good sense of what I do need in life and what I don't need and it really boils down that I need to be more like Christ and less like me because then life is so much more about people than things.

That is why I love America!

You probably heard it in the news, Michelle Obama was in Merced! But that is not the reason why I love America, I love it because ANYTHING is possible in this country.

A brand new university in the middle of the central valley has a few hundred students who still believe in the notion that they can accomplish anything if they put their mind to it and so they started a campaign to invite Michelle Obama to be their commencement speaker ... and after e-mails, letters and videos, they did see it happen!

Merced, a town of 80,000 people in the central valley, in between the big political decision makers of Los Angeles and San Francisco, received a lot of publicity these last few days and it reminded me that so many things can be accomplished if we believe in our dreams, use the gifts and passions of individuals and work together.

When we work in communities, we get to see the same power at work. When we look at the gifts and passions and dreams that people in neighborhoods have and encourage them to act on it, we all get to enjoy the fruit of the labor.

Last month, we learned that an older gentleman did not have any glass in his windows and we decided to act. We contacted a local business man who donated the glass, spoke with a couple of out of work handymen who donated their time, and within a couple of weeks were able to assist this gentleman. The results:the gentleman has glass in his windows and started volunteering in another area, the handymen got to use their gifts and provide a service, and received some food from us to provide for their families, the community was encouraged and we all saw the power of community at work.

Maybe we don't get to see Michelle Obama again, but community change happens all the time in small towns like Winton and Delhi, in communities and neigbhorhoods.

Everyone no matter how rich has a need. Everyone no matter how poor has a gift. That is why we build community.

Congratulations to the students of UC Merced for having learned of the power of working together so early in life, may you use the rest of your lives and may you use it wisely!

I love America because anything is possible when we put our minds to it and dream big enough!

Dual personalities

Last week I met someone with 2 personalities and my heart broke over the pain and anguish that caused this person to split into two parts so that she could function as an adult. Part of her was a small child still looking for a parent to protect her, knowing that there will be betrayal again, the other part a brilliant, funny, articulate person who struggled to stay sane.

I thought much about this over the Easter weekend, and I think it is only by the grace of God that all of us don't have split personalities to make it through the everyday hurts of life.

How does a child survive abuse? How does a spouse overcome everyday brutalities? How do we survive the onslaught of bad news every day?

No wonder so many turn to drugs, alcohol, television and other forms of 'numbing' agents!

What does it mean that we celebrate Easter, the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ?

I wonder if it does not, in part mean that we do not have to have split personalities, but that he takes the part of our lives that is pained and broken and puts His loving arms around it, healing some of the scars and helping us to live with the others.

I wondered, why she split and I didn't.

I celebrate Easter because of that! Because of a God who cares enough to send His Son to take the blame for the abuse, the hurt, the despair, and not only that of the abuser but also the abused.

I celebrate Easter because there is hope! At times my soul picture is a black hole with very little light and only a few cracks of dim light coming through but more and more often there is more light shining through and a little tiny plant growing in it, struggling for life, but surviving and some day maybe even blooming!

Until then, my heart breaks for the people who don't know this Healer, who don't know that there is hope.

"The Bus Boutique" - and job opportunities

CNN is running in the background as I am sitting in the hotel lobby. As everybody else, they were discussing the enconomy and how this even is reflected on Craiglist. They showed the add for a woman looking for professional clothing for a job interview.

That is really what "The Bus Boutique" is all about, giving people the resources they need to go look for a job, feeling good about themselves; attend college and not having to worry what others will think about their outfits; being warm enough in elementary school because school color clothing was provided.

When people have good clothing, they feel better about themselves and are more likely go out and fulfill their dreams.

Kind of sleepless in Merced

It is 2:00am and I am unable to sleep. Last night we found out that a person was upset with us...a person who has different coping skills than we do, a person who could cause harm to us. After my husband and I spoke with God about the situation, we went to bed ... but restful sleep did not want to come. Every sound in the street, every bark of the neighborhood dogs, every stir of our own dogs made me aware of my vulnerability. While my faith in God tells me that we are safe, my body responses with adrenaline and keeps me awake. As I was pondering this, I realize that this is only a one-time event for me. By tomorrow I will have settled down, the 'crisis' will have passed and I will feel 'safe' again in this little world of mine..... while thousands of others will again go to bed with the fear that their husband or wife will come home drunk to lash out at them; their family member will sneak in the bedroom at night to do unimaginable things, their friends terrorizing them, the homeless man or woman fearing that their few possessions will disappear, or that they might have to leave their temporary home. To live under that kind of stress seems so unimaginable to me. One night for me is tiring, nerve racking and exhausting.... how do they live with it day in and day out? No wonder the children cannot concentrate in school, the adults are overly tired, lash out, and can't focus on their work or their daily living. Reading my Bible a few moments ago I came across Proverbs 31 in verse 8 and 9 were we are called to "Speak up for the people who have no voice, for the rights of all the down-and-outers.Speak out for justice! Stand up for the poor and destitute!" Wouldn't it be great to live in a community where people care for each other, where I can count on my neighbor to be there for me, a place where I know I don't have to handle the struggle myself. Where someone will speak up for the voiceless, where justice is being served, where the poor and the destitute have an advocate. I want to be the one that stands up for the people without the voice, but I also need people around me who will stand up for me, who will have my back when the time comes. My prayer is always that God's Kingdom will come on earth as it is in heaven, and I know that only with God's help do I have the strength or the desire to stand up to help others along the way, to live in community and care enough to act.

Living and Dying

So here is my first blog page, written from a hospital room where my good friend Debbie is in a coma and her body is shutting down. This is a time when we decide about the value of life and journey of death. We have gentle music going in the background, we talk to her about our memories of our short life together and of our hope for a future. As I sit here and deal with my own emotions of letting go, I wonder how many people today will die alone. How many lack friends who can sit by their site when the time comes? How many will be missed?Earlier in the cafeteria I met an older gentleman. He told me that he buried his second wife last week, after several months of hospital and nursing home stays. Today he is going to loose one of his friends. He was alone and so we talked for awhile, shared a meal together. Strangers brought together by the common pain of loosing someone they care for. Will I be the only person he gets to talk with today? Does he have other friends who walk this road with him, to hear his memories of his wife, to laugh and cry with him? That is really what Community Development is all about.... to come together in times of crisis, in times of death, in times of joy. To have friends that care, so that we do not have to walk the road alone.